The Greening of a Discussion Leader
Lead an engaging discussion in any setting.
| posted 2/16/2007
| Topics: | Communication, Creativity, Discussion, Discussion starters, Participation, Questions |
| Filters: | Coach, Director, Facilitator, Train |
| Purpose: | Discipleship |
| References: |  |
| Date Added: | February 16, 2007 |
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I was one of the few Christians in my fraternity at the University of Michigan. I hit on the idea of leading a Bible study as a way of sharing my faith with the guys in the house. I announced this would be a free and open discussion concerning God and life, kicked off each week by a passage from the Bible. Privately, I was committed to using the time as a way of convincing them to believe the gospel. I was excited so many had shown up, and vowed to not waste the time with idle chatter. From that point on, it was all downhill.
Let me focus on how to avoid the pitfalls that doom the average religious discussion, as well as ways to generate lively participation.
You Wonder Why I Called This Meeting?Before a leader calls people together, he or she needs to honestly face the question, "Do I really want a discussion?" The answer is not an automatic yes. Many times we try to use a discussion format because it's the "in" thing in group techniques. Our members want it, or our superior expects it, but in our heart of hearts, we're uncomfortable with the loss of control.
In my Bible study, I had a "hidden agenda." My actual purpose wasn't to have an interchange of ideas; it was to convince them to become Christians. They weren't dumb, and easily spotted my ulterior motive and became defensive. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for evangelism. But a discussion group is a poor place to persuade because of behaviors that contribute to a defensive climate. Actions that show evaluation, control, strategy, superiority, and certainty all have a cooling effect on spontaneity.
Once I get it clearly in mind that I'm not trying to persuade, then I'm ready to plan a discussion. My aim is to stir up others to the point where they're willing to take the risk of saying what they think and becoming involved.
Building Bridges, Not WallsThere's a truism in the field of communication that states:
Communication = Content + Relationship
Whether the goal is to persuade someone to buy life insurance, reach a joint decision, or comfort a bereaved friend, two factors come into play: 1) the words spoken, and 2) how each party feels about the other.
Since words are the name of the game, it would be natural for us to focus on the content of communication. Yet we do so at our peril. No matter how provocative our discussion questions, or brilliant our repartee, the dialogue will become monologue if the relationship with the leader is out of kilter. Here are some things you can do to ensure that the group will want to participate:
• Learn names. There's nothing quite as demoralizing as being referred to as ''the tall man with the beard in the back row." The mere possibility makes me want to sit on any idea I might share. Yet if someone cares enough to learn my name, suddenly I'm important, I count—and I want to respond.
• Get involved. Take the first step to develop a relationship.
• Try to divest yourself of accumulated clout. A difference in status can kill off a lively debate before it starts.
Popping the QuestionPosing questions that elicit response is an acquired skill. Since it doesn't come naturally, let me outline an approach that works.
The first thing is to not ask a question with a right answer. The worst question is one that can be answered with a simple yes or no.
Suppose you want to stimulate thinking about Christ's Sermon on the Mount. The typical format would include questions such as: "What are the different components of the Lord's Prayer?" "How did Jesus enlarge the Commandment about adultery?" "What is the Lord's attitude toward seeking riches?" All of these are questions of fact, and they are almost guaranteed to generate little reaction.
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